A further 3 hours in A&E before a doctor came to see her. She's having a brain scan done now.

Back In A&E

Mum's not well. She shows signs of having had another TIA. We waited 3 hours for an ambulance.

Back in The North Middlesex Hospital's A&E Department, surrounded by memories crowding in on me.

Mum says she can feel that Susan is very close. I can't feel her presence, but I feel her absence very, very strongly.

5 Months ...

... XXXXXX ...

A Welcome Visit

It's four months since I lost my lovely sister. I miss her so much. Today, as I opened my bedroom curtains, a robin flew at the window, stopped just the other side of the glass and hovered directly in front of me, flashing his gorgeous red breast. I didn't even know robins could hover!! Then it sat on the roof-ridge for a while - lingering much closer and for much longer than I've seen one before - before flying back into the trees.

Sue loved seeing robins in the garden. It really felt like she'd come to greet and reassure me.

It was a great way to start the day.

I Miss You, Susan

"What's the good of news if you haven't a sister to share it?" - Jenny DeVries

I had a good time in Liverpool with friends. I have so much to tell you.

I just wish I could.

XXX

3 Months

Love you so much, sis xxx

£842.42 Raised At Blooming Great Tea Party!!

Thank you EVERYONE who came or donated in lieu xxx

http://www.justgiving.com/Edenhall

I'm Co-Hosting a Blooming Great Tea Party on Sunday

I'm very excited about some of the gifts people have made and donated to sell.

I had a good cry today ...

... It does help.

Two Months ...

... Time is such a weird thing. Feels like only yesterday and yet years ago, all at the same time ...

Love you, Sue xxx

Reassurance

Had my first very unsettling dream about Sue last night; she was cross with me for going through her wardrobe and taking her clothes to the local Hospice Charity Shop. Then, as I was making lunch, I thought "no, she's not cross, she's just supervising" - and when I turned round, a feather was stuck to the bowl I'd just taken out of the fridge.

Thanks for the reassurance, dearest sis.

Carers' Group Project

7 Weeks

Miss you xxxxxxxx

Handing Back The Keys To Sue's Flat ...

... is one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I'm Enjoying Art Therapy

... and Laura posed magnificently :)

BTW, she is a Calico (i.e. Tortoiseshell and White) Tabby, in case you think I've lost all concept of what a cat looks like. She also wears a pink collar - and this is a back view :)

I Miss My Sister

Very, very much.

5 Feathers in 4 Days ...

Spotted on my way home from seeing a Bereavement Counsellor ...

Finding 4 feathers in 3 days - when I've never been a feather finder before; I'm spotting a distinct trend here. Thanks, sis. I love you, too xxx

... and this feather was not there when I put Sue's top in the washing machine this morning ...

I know there are rational explanations, but perhaps there are some "irrational" explanations, too.

Something's Going On ...

... I don't know WHAT, but I'm finding it very comforting.